Category: People

Foundations of Friendship

by standinlovejen, posted in Connection, Female Entrepreneurship, Ideas, Passion, People, Purpose

Today, I had the honor of experiencing first hand the great work and services offered at the Veterans Transition Resource Center (VTRC), a nonprofit collaborative partnership between Life After Active Duty and Veterans Care Foundation, created to help fill the gap in Veteran Services in Las Vegas.

Our Mission ~ To be a beacon, for our Military, Veterans and their families around the world, to help navigate the challenging obstacles from military life back to civilian life.

At the invitation of a friend, I accepted an opportunity to hear insights from friendship expert, Shasta Nelson, author, speaker, and founder of Girlfriendcircles.com.  Shasta shared years of research on the subject of friendships and the impacts on our health, stating ” We are experiencing an epidemic of unacknowledged loneliness.  More than anything, people desire to feel loved and supported.   Research shows that disconnection is the health equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day, even likened to the devastating effects suffered by those with addictions like alcohol.”  Point: loneliness, disconnection, and lack of a support network takes a toll on your mental and physical well-being.

This subject effects each and every one of us, not just veterans. Everyone needs friendships and support networks. What I appreciated most from her interactive talk with the group today, many of whom lost loved ones in active duty or are current care takers for loved ones, is that before we can learn how to be supported we must first understand what it means to be a friend.  Guys, this goes for you as well.

Three Components of Friendship

Friendship, she defined as:

Any relationship where two people feel satisfied, safe, and both people feel seen.

Shasta then drew a triangle on the white board in front of the group and shared the three most important components, requirements rather, for solid friendships to occur.

1. Positivity.

According to Shasta and her research, we should have a ratio of 5:1 for positive to negative interactions.    To be a good friend means sharing positively, impacting relationships in a healthy way.  This doesn’t mean we can’t share hurts and hangups in our lives with our friends, rather, it’s an opportunity for us to share where we are at to be truthful with our current situation and then offer something like, “I’m going through a rough time right now with work/ spouse/ (fill in the blank), but I’m so excited to be out meeting new people and building new friendships!”  Everyone likes to be around positive energy.

2. Consistency

We all know how hard it is to keep up with friends who live in different states, have different schedules, lifestyles, etc, but the key is connecting with regularity.  Even if it’s micro movements like calling each other at a set time each week or couple of weeks, or sending texts periodically, it’s keeping the contact consistent.   Shasta revealed that this is key for friendships, because consistency helps build trust between friends.  Helps instill the “safety” factor in the relationship.

She pointed out very keenly that this process of meeting people regularly happened as children when we were in school, and happens daily in the workplace.  There is a structure to the relationships, helping people bond more easily.  Things like deployments, church groups, university settings, and volunteerism place people in routines with consistent patterns, and naturally lead into the development of friendships.

3. Vulnerability

This is the component of friendship that Shasta says “makes us feel seen”.   Being vulnerable doesn’t necessarily mean we have to “vomit our vulnerability on new friends, rather, our level of vulnerability should increase incrementally with our consistency with that friend”.  As we see them more often and the friendship grows, we are able to increase our capacity to be vulnerable with them.

Vulnerability, according to Shasta, isn’t just sharing the hurting parts of our life, but can be translated as “initiating”.  When we ask someone to connect with us for a coffee, walk, or get together, we fear rejection and the very act of asking is being vulnerable.  It’s ok.  And it’s ok if we get a “no”.  That doesn’t mean we should feel rejected.

Self Assessment

At the conclusion of the session, Shasta challenged us to consider our friendships.  On a scale of 1-10, how supported do we feel in our friendships?  Are we putting too many expectations on the relationship and pushing that person away from us rather than drawing near?  What is missing in our friendships, and how can we improve ourselves to be better friends to someone else?

If positivity, consistency, and vulnerability are the three key ingredients to developing healthy friendships, what could I increase to improve the quality of my friendships?

My favorite takeaway was undoubtedly the following remark I believe hit home for every person in the audience.

Show up in beauty and light.

It’s not about finding the right person to be your friend, but fostering the right relationships you have.

Thank you Shasta Nelson for sharing your passion for friendships and connection with us today in the room.   Your heart emanates light and love.  I know I am not the only one who felt a connection with you.

To learn more about Shasta Nelson’s work, check out her published books on the subjects of friendship and connection.

What one word comes to your mind when you think of friendship?

Stand In Love,
Jennifer

 

 

 

 Using Talents for Great Purpose: Reflections from the Heart of Cajun Country.

by standinlovejen, posted in Love, People, Uncategorized

What a great way to start a new week here in Lafayette, Louisiana: learning what it means to be a “bringer“.

Inspired by his love for golden retrievers, natural bringers, local Crossroads Church lead pastor Pastor Jeff Ables delivered the final part of a compelling series on “Bringers” to his congregation yesterday.

What is a bringer?

Someone who uses their God-given gifts and talents in service to others.   In a nutshell: being a Bringer is being useful.

In a crowded church auditorium, the air heavy with silent prayers and unanswered questions, the local Lafayette congregation shared seats and smiles with Samaritan’s Purse volunteers joining in joyful singing and praise.

Singing the chorus , “God is on the move, on the move, hallelujah!  God is on the move is many mighty ways..” folks raised their hands in joint surrender with grateful hearts, remembering that their mighty maker has not forgotten their needs.

We are asked to bring not only  our offerings to God, but also our praises.  We are created to praise.  In good times and bad.  And our praise, reminded Pastor Jeff,  is to “be sincere, sacrificial, and sanctioned”. 

It’s day 8 on the ground and I have seen people “bringing it” to southern Louisiana.

Welcome Alert Academy Volunteers

To date, over 200 dedicated volunteers from all over the US have passed through Crossroads Church to serve with Samaritan’s Purse, accumulating over 3,000 volunteer hours in the Lafayette community. Yesterday, I spoke with a young man part of  a 14-member team from Alert Academy– an organization started by a home school father in 1994.  A cross between a military boot camp and Christian diaster response training,  ALERT (Air, Land, Emergency Response Team) young men arrived ready to bring it.  He shared his passion for serving and wants to model behaviors he hopes others will want to emulate.

7 members of the 14 person A.L.E.R.T team serving in Lafayette, La.

 

Redemption Bringers

Krystal McKee, a 31 year old daughter of Lafayette residents Kathy and Greg McKee, decided to bring it after she discovered her parents home flooded the weekend of August 13th.  Greg, an active lineman for the electric company, traveled to Missouri to work on downed power lines from severe storms in the area.  Wanting to surprise him on his birthday, the family piled into a car and drove north the morning the rains began to fall.

Krystal and her husband were the first responders to the single story home inundated Saturday by the rising flood waters.  Now program directors for Teen Challenge, an 18 month program ministering to teens with life interrupting  addictions, they bear witness to the power of redemption and recovery.

In 2013, the young couple had hit their lowest point. Rampant drug and alcohol abuse ripped their marriage apart and resulted in the custody loss of their two children. Mom Kathy, after Krystal’s 6th arrest and incarceration for prescription drug use and possession, heard about Teen Challenge on the local SOS radio station and pleaded with her daughter to enroll.

Fast forward to December 2015, the couple reunites as graduates of the program and regain custody of their two children in addition to restoring their broken marriage.  Most impressively, Krystal and her husband featured below now head programs for troubled teens at the local Lafayette branch of Teen Challenge.

In efforts to quickly respond to her parent’s devastated home, Krystal rounded up a team of  Teen Challenge volunteers to help salvage belongings from the home,  paying forward the kindness and unconditional parental love she received for so many years during her years of addiction .

As Mom Kathy proudly shared this powerful testimony, her two boxers remained by her side .  Trixie, 6, and Zeke, 4.  A week before the flood hit Zeke was diagnosed with terminal cancer. It has taken over his lymph nodes- giving him 6 months to live.

Trixie on the left, and Zeke on the right watch as Samaritan’s Purse volunteers join for prayer in the garage after work completed.

Family members Kari, Kyler, and Kaleb joined mom Kathy and the volunteers in a customary prayer circle that concludes each and every  clean up mission with Samaritan’s Purse.


Hope was brought to the McKee family, and Kathy hopes her story will bring hope to those suffering with family members with addictions.

What do you have to bring?

Have you identified your spiritual Gifts? How may these gifts be used in conjunction with your talents to bring hope into your community and personal spheres of influence?

Join us in today’s prayer circle:

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Stand in Love,

Ephesians 6:10-20

Jennifer ❤️❤️❤️

Chick-Fil-A-Eight

by standinlovejen, posted in Connection, People, Purpose, volunteering

Lafayette welcomed the “Chick-Fil-A Eight” as they have been nicknamed, two days ago from Dayton, Ohio.

A franchise owner of two Dayton suburban locations took Chick- Fil-A’s official corporate mission statement to an entirely new level.

“To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us.  To have a positive influence on all who come in contact with Chick-Fil-A.”

As her Miamisberg location, the nations top performing location in 2015, undergoes expansion renovation, her employees were given the opportunity to earn their normal wages while serving flood diaster victims here in Lafayette.

A team of 8 workers, including Dayton training director Samantha drove 14 hours Wednesday to serve while their shop’s reopening date was pushed back.  Ranging in age from 18-23 years old, the team of 8 joined leader Bob for the most difficult job assignment in this area to date.

The homeowner is a recently widowed man living with his pregnant daughter and son as well as his granddaughter age 3.  Next  to his home is his machine shop where he makes his living.  This property is still under water and the devastation has compounded leaving homeowner utterly hopeless.

Enter Samaritan’s  Purse team of 17, including the “Chick-Fil-A Eight”. 


Amidst the debris, festering mold spores, and dampened memories rested an American flag, soaked in standing flood water.

Dylan, a recently injured U.S. Marine now working full time for the Chick- Fil-A franchise outside of Dayton, respectfully folded the flag with  coworker Brittin and  presented it to the broken-hearted homeowner’s son, Trey, in a solemn moment at the end of the day.


Not only had Trey recently lost his mother, now his home and life as he knew it had been washed away in the flood.

The team will return to the site again today to continue the work as well as bring light, hope, and the message of the Gospel to this family hurting from life’s tumultuous storms.

This morning’s group devotional called us to ponder the reason for our volunteerism.  To consider the states of our hearts. Are we here for our own plans, or are we woven  into the tapestry of Lafayette for a purpose much larger than our current understanding?

The longer I stay here, the clearer that bigger purpose has become. It is in these moments of deep connection with humanity that we contemplate our true, meaningful existence on Earth.  These times of trials are Faith’s most glorious chance for refinement and reinvigoration.

I have fallen in love with the people of Louisiana, and Lafayette in particular is making what will soon become an indelible mark on my heart.


These are the moments I live for and I am on my knees in humble gratitude for God stirring my heart to come.

He always knows just what we need, right when we need it.

 

“For I know the plans I have for You declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ” – Jermiah 29:11

 

May the floods in your life remind you of what needed to be washed away, so that new beginnings may take root.

Share your thoughts in the comments if Louisiana has touched you in any way.  We learn from each other and take comfort knowing we are not alone in this life.

Stand in love, ❤️

Jen

@standinlovejen

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Jennifer DeBough Miller

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Love Survives Louisiana Floodwaters 

by standinlovejen, posted in Love, People

Love Gathers.

Each morning, the diverse group of volunteers working for Samaritan’s Purse, dressed in matching bright orange t- shirts,  along with the local congregation of Crossroad’s Church here in Lafayette, Lousiana gather for a time of meaningful reflection before heading out to a worksite.

It’s a time of welcoming newcomers, and enjoying a satisfying meal lovingly prepared by the volunteer kitchen staff on site.  I’ve met folks from all over the United States and while their geographical locations vary, their mission remains the same:  To show Christ’s love to those who are hurting and in need of community during times of distress.

Samaritan’s Purse operates in conjunction with the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, a rapid response prayer team offering chaplain services to disaster areas where crisis management responders are needed.

Yesterday a combined team of 12 volunteers and two leaders, Lenny and Bob, headed a massive clean up project on Demanade Street, an area where standing flood waters still remain.   We arrived to the flooded street at 8:30am, assessed our work assignments for the day and began unloading the U-haul stocked full of the necessary supplies.

This was the scene when we arrived:

Burt and Erline’s front yard at the time of arrival

I was struck in particular by the soaked memories of this couple in their late 70’s and early 80’s.

Water logged photo albums floated in the home’s 4 feet of water.

Their single story home was inundated with 4 feet of flood water while they were spending the weekend near Lake Arthur about 50 miles west of Lafayette.

Albert, “Burt” as he prefers to be called, and his beautiful wife of 59 years, Erline returned home to find what Erline referred to as a mixing bowl of meatball ingredients swirling around inside her home.

After hours of cleanup inside the property, I was able to steal a few moments with the couple in their garage where they were salvaging photographs in albums soaked to the core.  The colors of the printed film swirled together like fresh tie dye.

Love Recalls.

“We met in 1956“, recalled Burt when asked how he and his bride first met.

“I was older than she was, and I remember the first time I laid eyes on her.  She had the best butt I had ever seen, and then I saw the face to match the body and I was well pleased!” 

Coming from a man in his eighties, I found this quite humorous, and appreciating his candid storytelling, let him share the love story of his life.

As Burt retrieved more warped photo albums tossed in the back of his pickup truck, Erline and I reminisced about her high school days and the beginnings of her infatuation with her dreamy husband who she claims, “was not just cute, but movie-star cute!”

“I wasn’t allowed to go to dances, being a country girl and all…” Erline shared in a beautiful southern Louisiana drawl, “so I used my sewing skills to make up some of the prettiest skirts.  I remember the exact form fitting, white pencil skirt I wore that day that Burt noticed me.  It wasn’t polite for girls to accept invitations to go out on the first or second ask…. so I patiently waited for the third time, hoping he wouldn’t give up on me. ” 

As the Samaritan’s Purse volunteers removed drenched sheets of mold-infested drywall from the home, Burt removed saturated photographic memories of trips they had taken in the mountains in Colorado many years prior.  He loves photography.  She loves nature and animals.  Their love for one another in that moment was a testimony to the bond and strength of their relationship in light of the destruction surrounding them.

Love Endures.

I wanted to capture their essence and decided we would take photos under a big Oak Tree in the corner of their front yard.  To the immediate left stood heaps of crumbled drywall,  reams of moldy insulation, damaged furniture, swollen library books, bundles of soaked clothing, along with piles of soiled personal effects collected during their 59 years together.  But there, leaning on that thick tree trunk they were reminded of their roots, and felt the strength of their firm foundation rising up.  This tree stood majestically , symbolically, calling them to rejoice in their personal victory together.  The tears from the morning had turned to joyful laughter as they posed together rekindling the love they had for each other in their youth.

Burt, 80, with his wife Erline Daigle, 78.                                                                                  Photographed with permission

I thanked God for the opportunity to bear witness to this profound example of perseverance, and hope their story inspires everyone in the Lafayette community and in the world that there is hope on the other side of pain.

I recalled the words of encouragement shared in Wednesday night’s service at host church Crossroads,   “Pain leads to pursuit.  Pain leads to passion.  Pain leads to purpose.”

What is the pain in our life teaching us?  Is it a subtle reminder to go back to our roots, and take an introspective look at the things that really matter?

Faith, Hope, and Love.  And of these, Love is the strongest.

Going back today to finish  up and help restore a bit of their memories in the pages of the albums.

Stand in love, like Burt and Ernice.

Jen

 

BeadforLife Impacts Las Vegas Middle Schools

by standinlovejen, posted in Beadforlife, People, Purpose

How did they treat you when you were in Uganda? asked an 11 year old student with an inquisitive mind.   Did they treat you differently because you are a different race? 

What were you most afraid of during your stay?  Did you go there alone?

Why were there no boys or men in the video on extreme poverty?

These are just a sampling of the many questions asked during the 3 presentations given on BeadforLife and extreme poverty at Johnson Junior High, a recently named international academy here in Las Vegas.   Students from 7 different social studies classes were invited to participate in an exciting forum last month to learn about daily life in extreme poverty, in particular, life in Uganda.

Prepped with recycled paper beaded jewelry,  photos of the women in BeadforLife’s programs, statistics on extreme poverty in both Uganda and the U.S., I apprehensively entered a Jr. High auditorium where I would be challenged with the task of building bridges of understanding between these young, developing minds with those who live thousands of miles away in a developing land- one very different from their own.  I had no doubt I would leave at the conclusion of the day feeling I was blessed with an opportunity to learn as well.  I recall distinctly the BeadforLife mantra taught in the Street Business School program that both student and teacher are called, “coach”, suggesting the reciprocity of learning.

Entering the stage of critical thinking is …  well, entering a world of mental capacity expansion.   Allowing the brain to stretch in ways previously unknown.   Pausing to consider another’s perspective for just a moment in time.  Allowing space to contemplate another’s reality, perhaps harsher or just different than your own.    This is the beauty of learning, as once the new information enters the mind, it sets up camp, impatiently calling us to kick it around like a ball in a game of mental hackeysack.

As the 2nd guest speaker these students had ever encountered in a classroom environment, I felt a strong desire to impact them in a way that would challenge their thinking, create a hunger to learn more, and potentially inspire some to embrace their role as global citizens in the world, recognizing their voice and ultimate impact their voice  has on the eradication of extreme poverty.  Tall order for 6th graders you may be thinking… but in actuality, the elasticity of their minds is incredible!

I was so impressed with some of the students’ answers when I asked questions like, ” What impact does being paid a fair trade wage have on people living in extreme poverty?” and “Why do you suppose women and girls were the focus in the brief BeadforLife video we just watched?”   I especially loved hearing their responses when asked to share what looked different in the daily life in Uganda compared to daily life in the USA.    Sugar, they learned, was a luxury not a necessity for living.  As for electricity, only 15% of the country of Uganda has access to it.  Homes, they grappled to comprehend, were a mere 10 ft x 10ft for an average family of 6-8 people, and didn’t include running water for things like brushing teeth or quenching thirst.   We talked about fears, and how everyone has them, they are just different based on geographic and socio-economic positioning.

In efforts to connect the kids to people in extreme poverty, I shared BeadforLife’s belief that no matter where you have been in life, how dire your circumstances past or present, there is a way out.  There exists an opportunity for change in life.  It’s there for the taking, provided initiative and desire are present to seize the opportunity.  Like teachers at Johnson Junior High School to their students, BeadforLife takes a mirror and shines it in the faces of the downtrodden and says, ” I BELIEVE IN YOU!”.

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Students learning about sustainably sourced Shea Butter

It is not enough for people to survive.  Everyone has the right to THRIVE.  The Millennium Development Goals, now called the Sustainable Development Goals seek to end extreme poverty by the year 2030, reminding us that we can see an end to extreme poverty in our lifetime.   This will happen as a result of our youth exercising their influential 1st world voices.

After reading hundreds of thoughtful, hand-written thank you notes from the students the past couple of days, (thank you Mrs. Stice, Mrs. Johnson, and Mrs. Slighting ), I see the spark and potential in the youth of our future.   I see the impact that a little bit of knowledge and understanding can have to make our world a better place, one step at a time.

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A friend of mine shared an interesting article from Outsideonline.com that sited the USDA:

The average family of four trashes 2 million calories a year- worth 1,500$.  As a result, 25% of America’s water is used to produce food never eaten, and an estimated 28% of our planet’s agricultural land used to grow food ends up in the garbage.  Food is the single largest solid waste component of America’s landfills, at an estimated 80 billion pounds- and emissions from it are equivalent to greenhouse gas output of 33 million cars.

Now that is some food for thought.

 

Pedestrian Observations

by standinlovejen, posted in Passion, People, Uncategorized

“Our main business is not to see what lies dimly ahead, but to do what lies clearly at hand”- Thomas Carlyle

There is something euphoric about arriving at a destination by foot.

 Why?  

The richness of experience and revelations that exist between two points….

Case in point, today’s urban hike into town for a piping-hot cup of dark roast coffee and eventual jaunt to REI to research sleeping bags for the next big adventure.  (hiking Macchu Pichu’s Inca Trail-  a wish-list destination, at which, I prefer to arrive by foot. )

Urban hiking.. a freshly added “no fees attached” recreational activity  … loosely defined as get out of your house and walk somewhere interesting…see what you discover .  This may not sound like a new phenomenon.   You may be thinking to yourself, “… people live in cities, bustling to and from by foot, bus, taxi, and all other sorts of public transport.”  While that’s true, I think the percentage of Las Vegans living on my side of town commuting this way remains quite small.   And while hiking is popular here, it’s generally directed west, towards the Red Rock conservation area.

Today’s suburban expedition led me to the discovery of the RTC’s city bus timetable, and piqued an interest into commuting to work via public transport  for a change.  Feels like traveling for some reason, rather than commuting.  Traveling on a journey takes many forms.   As I passed a bus stop on my left, I looked down and noticed 3 poinsettias and 3 prayer candles in a mini vigil  presumably to a lost loved one.   The wicks were burning brightly, suggesting I may have just missed intersecting someone sorrowfully ruminating their loss.    On another part of today’s journey, I was able to stop and smell the roses outside a cast iron gate entrance to a perfectly manicured golf course I pass by in my car daily.  Smelling fresh ivory and magenta colored roses growing wildly in the desert in January counts as simple abundance in my book.  I tucked that experience in my mental backpack along with unanswered questions such as ” I wonder how many people ride the public bus here for work?  How much does it cost to ride the bus these days?  Could I try to get to the strip on this route? ”  Carrying on, I reminisced about  those impressionable  junior high days I relied on the public bus for transport to school while my parents worked hard morning to night to provide for my brother and me.    I then contemplated if  I had ever noticed these roses while in my car at that familiar intersection stoplight.

Ever notice on a walk in your neighborhood how the bushes will stretch their limbs north-facing in order to catch a glimpse and bathe in the afternoon sun passing overhead mid-late morning?   So beautiful to behold nature’s silent conversations and it’s ceaseless intricacies.

After a 9 mile round trip trek around town today, I am particularly interested in exploring with you the differences in the experience of consuming a cup of coffee at a Starbucks, versus a McDonalds.  Understandably, geography plays a part.  I am speaking about these two particular shops near my home.

Today I chose to unpack my day-off arsenal of books, sharpies, index cards, and spiral notebook on the outdoor terrace area at Starbucks.  Having just schlepped into town on a cold morning, my body temperature was up, and I profited by sitting in the direct sunlight at an empty patio table for two.  Meanwhile, inside the bustling ,iconic coffee house,  I was struck by the multitude of business people, cyclists, computers, I-pads/phones/pods, and the energy circulating all around me.    I listened to two men conversing in French, their words like music in my ears,  behind me as I stood in line, a line much shorter than the one full of cars in the drive through.  Hip music playing, fresh coffee brewing, employees buzzing, guests working, typing, and talking… it was a complete 180  in terms of experience from the day prior at Mc D’s.

There,  as I sat in an old formica pebble stone topped booth, I was confronted with the realities and prevalence of poverty.   A homeless man I see routinely was seated across from me,  with his bicycle parked outside the front sliding screen doors.  Reading and journaling, I have grown accustomed to tuning out the noise of his video games or songs that blare haphazardly.   We both don knit caps over our heads to keep warm, and are both sipping a cup of freshly brewed and rather affordable cup of coffee, comparatively speaking.  What I love about the McDonald’s experience is that each time I choose to have coffee there, I am able to bear witness to all of God’s wonderfully unique creations.   The woman and her husband having breakfast turning to the other homeless man and regular visitor behind them asking , “are you hungry?  Would you like something to eat? Would you like hotcakes?”    Or the man in his warm ups that shows up for breakfast at the same time each morning, who gives a sack of food to the homeless man sitting in front of me.   Sometimes, they talk, and the stranger takes a seat with the homeless man and engages in conversation with him about how to use the phone or whatever else he may have in his possession at the time.   My heart feels FULL when I see the young hourly paid employees coming over to ask guests, including the homeless, if they need refills on water or coffee.  After all, they are paying guests too.

I love to sit and partake of this shared human experience.   Listening to the old folks newspaper crinkling as they turn it’s black and white pages while discussing loudly their closest friend’s most recent doctor’s appointment results.   Or ….witnessing acts of generosity.  Reminded me of the “pay it forward” movement that takes place in drive through lines at Starbucks… when you randomly pay for the order of the person behind you.  While this is a great demonstration of sharing and giving, it is not likely that the person behind you who drove in their car to pay $4.00 or more  for a coffee is in need financially of the gift.    The person who is in financial need, is the homeless man or woman with his own two feet as his sole mode of transport.  The man or woman who falls asleep in the booth after a  hot and filling meal of hotcakes, sausages, and eggs… getting rest, warmth, and replenishment after a long, cold night outside.   The socially rejected and avoided men and women who, being human, crave interaction with others too…. say hello, offer to buy a coffee or a meal inside.. or just give a bag of food.    It is all about perspective…  the big breakfast that “has so many calories” for one, may be  a life -sustaining meal for another.  Let’s pay that forward.

The beauty of today’s journey lies in the pulsating, penetrating heart of man.   Bearing witness to the love inside of each us… and the cravings we all have to share that love with others.    May your feet guide you always on the path toward love.  May you continuously choose love for others, and experience the richest spiritual rewards.

Have you witnessed amazing acts of love?  Please share, I’d love to hear your story!

*pardon the lack of the accent over the “a”… my keyboard is speaking without french accents at the moment… *


Roadside vigil


Homeless man receives meal
 

Art in the Park raises thousands for BeadforLife

by standinlovejen, posted in People, Purpose, Uncategorized

It’s a cool, dark morning and the desert rain is falling swiftly as I sit on my rocking chair on my patio.  The smell of desert rain is so refreshing.  Satisfying, and awakening.  Summer has finally decided to depart from the valley, and this quiet storm is proof that fall has come to stay.  As I sip a cup of  dark roast hot coffee lightened slightly with fresh cream, in my pajamas, I recall the flash rain storms in Uganda towards the end of my visit this summer.   A certain hush fell over the city during the rain, as the tropical heat was replaced with cooler temps.  A welcome reprieve for farmers- nourishing the lush vegetation of the fertile land; a nuisance for the many living in mud homes or corrugated tin shelters dotted with openings just large enough to wreak havoc on the once dry interior.

Rain brings refreshment.  Renewal.  Reminders.

This weekend, my folks and I had the opportunity to share the story of BeadforLife with thousands of people attending the largest juried arts festival in the southwest, aptly named Art in the Park, as tents dot the green parks of downtown Boulder City like sheep in a pasture.  Our quaint 10x 10 foot white walled tent the perfect canvas for an African marketplace transformation!  It’s no coincidence that this is the same size of the average Ugandan home- reminding me of the relative nature of ” necessity”.

There is something magical about BeadforLife jewelry, and the spirit filling the space inside and around our tent.  Colorful,  hand made works of recycled paper art crafted by women so desperately seeking an end to their cycle of generational poverty provided our landscape for 48 hours.  I recalled lessons learned in Mutungo’s Street Business School about being resourceful and using available possessions- the most important being your own creativity.  I turned plastic buckets into stools, and tree branches from my front yard into decorative garland breathing life into our space.   I delighted in slip covering two ordinary folding chairs with brightly colored and characteristically patterned  dresses from Malawi donated by BeadforLife supporter and  friend Lynn.   Mom and I agreed we didn’t need to buy anything for our event and used items from home in creative ways, just like the enterprising women of Uganda.

We hung Annet’s palm branch mat ( her story from Bulogo women’s group a previous post) as a natural frame for Beamdforlife’s banner on the tent’s rear wall,  reminding us all that hard work and determination mixed with repeated measures of faith and discipline produce unimaginable results.

Thanks to the many first time visitors to BeadforLife as well as the friends and supporters who attended last year, we raised over $3,700 this weekend!  I’m grateful to my parents- both 70 years young, for helping me set up and account for all the sales!  This event is truly a blessing on many levels!

Every day 22,000 children around the world living in extreme poverty die of hunger.  Children grow up in homes and do not have access to education- including public schools for lack of school fees and basic supplies like shoes and pencils.   Orphans wander the streets and slums dreaming of a place to call home.   These are a few of the things I witnessed first hand while working in Uganda , and they remain the motivating realities which drive my advocacy.

Seven months ago, I joined a small committee to help BeadforLife  expand the Street Business School program.  This 6 month mobile classroom places entrepreneurial training and skills into the hands of the poorest, most vulnerable women in Uganda.   The goal is to replicate this training module worldwide- empowering 1 million women with the tools of self- sufficiency.   I believe in the promise of this program, and I support the program’s co-founder and leader- Devin Hibbard.

I invite you to join in the “Ignite One Million” campaign and consider the impact your donation will have on the lives of it’s participants.   You may donate directly at vegas.ignite1million.org

One month from today on November 4th from 6-8 pm MJ Christensen diamonds will host its 6th annual Runway for Life event benefiting BeadforLife.  Come meet Devin- cofounder, and join us as we embrace the dream of Igniting One Million women worldwide out of extreme poverty.     Rsvp@mjcdiamonds.com

“Nothing changes if nothing changes. ”

I have a young boy with autism at Art in the Park this weekend selling buttons to remind me of this fact.

Female Entrepreneur Spotlight

by standinlovejen, posted in Beadforlife, People
Aidah Nannyunju with her feature story
Aidah Nannyunja published in Kampala newspaper!

I first met Aidah Nannyunja on the 15th of July 2015, the morning I arrived in Uganda.  Eager to learn and understand all departments of the BeadforLife organization in Kampala, I enjoyed the day working in the inventory room alongside small group of Ugandan women including Justine, Evelynn, Lillian, Aidah, and Maria-  some, former BeadforLife program graduates.   Recovering from the long journey, I sat peacefully in this open aired room fully absorbing my surroundings.  Colorful recycled paper samples pinned to a cork board on the wall to my left above a wicker stand housing towering stacks of hand-woven palm branch baskets and compartmentalized wood trays holding mini silver BeadforLife logo tags added as the final touch to each piece of jewelry, rendering it ready for international shipment.   A small portable radio played on the long rectangular table around which we sat quietly working, and quietly wondering what each other’s stories would say if they were broadcast over the speaker like the sermons on the radio.   I enjoyed the simplicities of this complex group of women, and sometimes young men- if Joseph and Jimmy had completed their work out front meticulously hand-stamping new burlap fabric  gift bags under a tented canopy in the front lawn of the Kampala residence, turned place of business, located on Mpanga Close Rd, plot 26.

new gift bags
new gift bags stamped by Joseph and Jimmy
color way samples for beads
bead color board inventory room Kampala

Aidah, sitting at the end of the table closest to the sunlight and driveway on the east side of the house worked quietly, but listening, like a young child pretending not to understand an adult conversation while taking in each word and digesting its contents.

It wasn’t until two weeks later that I would have a chance to capture Aidah’s story and personal triumph over the war on poverty.

I had just returned from a full day of travel and field visit in Lwamaggwa with Agnes, my sponsored child with World Vision.  The next morning, as I entered the office, soaked to the core with sweat from my mile and a half trek from Kataza neighborhood carrying my yellow racelite backpack stuffed with notebooks, water bottles, journals, and the essentials for any day out of the house, along with my camera bag strapped cross body, making me feel like a pack mule each time I arrived to work.   Beatrice, a vibrant BeadforLife staff member approached me and greeted me with the customary pleasantries I have grown to appreciate in Uganda.  Looking you in the eyes, taking the time to genuinely ask how you are feeling that day, and offering hugs- one on each side- she enthusiastically announced, ” Jennifer!  I have an exciting story for you to write!!!”.   After unpacking my things and collecting myself for a day to reflect on Agnes’ visit, I stopped in the kitchen to make a cup of Ugandan black tea and seasoned it with a couple shakes of tea masala- a multi spice add-in infusing the tea with the aromas of India.

Beatrice and Evelynn were waiting expectantly for me in the inventory room when I arrived and from behind Beatrice’s back, she pulled out one of Uganda’s daily newspapers titled “Yiiya Ssente”.  Guess who was on the cover?…..   BeadforLife’s very own, Aidah Nannyunja!

The two page feature story detailed the Aidah’s triumph over poverty, and her growing business of inspiring and mobilizing more women in Kampala to believe in their ability to become entrepreneurs!

“I used to sweep the dust in the streets of Kampala, like so many women you see here.  That is where BeadforLife found me the day I joined the 18 month Beads to Business Program.”   Now, through the skills I have acquired, I have a beaded handbag business, a retail clothing shop, and a group of women I mentor!”

Aidah graduated from BeadforLife in August of 2013.  The commemorative group photo framed and hanging on the wall of fame in the corridor of the Kampala office like the Mona Lisa in the Louvre, observed by so many and photographed by appreciative visitors daily.   Aidah remembered the exact date of her first bead sale, December 22, 2011.   She never imagined she would become the chair person of the women’s empowerment group Tukola Balaba featured in that newspaper article.  Founded in the Kawempe District and 50 members strong, Tukola Balaba is thriving and inspiring women with alternatives to generational poverty.

Aidah showing me a sample from her handbag business
Aidah showing me a sample from her handbag business

BeadforLife’s 10 year vision to Ignite One Million women out of poverty by 2027 is incredibly bold, and without question, engaging!    Aidah’s story reinforces the validity of BeadforLife’s work and stands as a testimony of over  40,000 Ugandans served to date by the programs.  Please feel empowered to share this message of hope with your personal spheres of influence.

One size doesn’t fit all.   We are many parts.  We are all one body.  The gifts we have, they are given to share.  May the spirit of love, make us one indeed.  

Try taking a personal challenge this week:  Ask yourself ,”What skills are in my toolbox that I may share to help Ignite One Million?”     Am I connected locally with a non-profit or other group that supports the extreme poor and would like to partner?  Would my faith-based group consider hosting a “Mission Marketplace” this holiday season? http://www.beadforlife.org/faith to create awareness and engagement.

Do I have connections to entrepreneurial groups who would love to support this mission?  Or more simply, ” Do I have the fortitude and will to buy a small bag of loose beads and tell the story to as many people as I can, handing a bead to them in remembrance, until the last loose bead is gone?” http://www.beadforlife.org/shop/uganda-loose-beads.html

Whatever your personal level of challenge allows, accept the invitation to take that step of faith.  Allow yourself to grow, to evolve, to discover your potential for change, just like the women in Uganda.

Bulogo’s Banana Business Superstar

by standinlovejen, posted in Beadforlife, People, Purpose

We pulled up the long rural driveway with Julius, our driver, coach Ritah- one of the compassionate and dedicated street business school trainers in Bulogo, and my BeadforLife colleague- coach Phoebe- to our final on-site business visit for the day in Bulogo village, about 45 minutes drive north of Kamuli town. What a wonderful surprise to end the long day of field interviews! Monica Mwesigwa was seated on a small wooden bench outside of her free standing outdoor brick kitchen with a thatched roof,  rolling out carefully prepared and mixed dough for her newly launched and thriving small business selling banana pancakes. These are not the traditional pancakes to which we are accustomed, light and fluffy golden colored cakes topped with melted butter and dripping with maple syrup, but rather a dense sort of croquette– a mixture of locally sourced and hand processed cassava flour, smashed bananas and a pinch of baking soda. Rolled out and cut into small circles with her multi purpose plastic cup and empty recycled glass bottle, she handed them to her daughter – 1 of 6 children ranging in age from 17 to 1 and 1/2 yrs- who was tending the indoor charcoal fire over which rest a pot of boiling hot oil to deep fry these sweet little snacks! As we talked with Monica, age 33, we could just sense her incredible entrepreneurial spirit! Waves of smoke escaped from the small outdoor kitchen, encircling our senses as we snapped photographs and filmed quick feature videos, highlighting her amazing success!

Bulogo Women’s Group.

Monica enrolled in November 2014 with the first class of Bulogo Women’s Group, consisting of 20 members.  Bulogo Women’s Group is one of the first partner organizations to replicate the business training curriculum and mentoring developed and introduced by BeadforLife’s Street Business School program- currently under expansion with the goal of  providing entrepreneurial training for 1 million women living in extreme poverty worldwide.  By December, only a couple short weeks after her first few business building training sessions, Monica had already launched her pancake selling business! She sold 1 chicken at the rate of 11,000 UGS (approx $3.25) to obtain the capital she needed to get her small business off the ground.  Monica shared with us that she used to eat chicken she raised until she learned in one of the trainings  she had the choice and opportunity to sell one instead- giving her financial means to save and invest for a business.

Sparked by these fundamental business lessons, one of which encourages women to “start  small” and understand the temporary nature of their present difficulties, Monica applied herself in earnest.   This takes wholehearted belief and trust, and Monica decided to embrace change and take that risk.  Investing the profits from her pancake business, Monica launched her second business – selling a homemade secret recipe banana juice. She sells these by the 400 or 500 ml cup in town. She shared with us that she earns about 2,500-3,000 UGS profit daily from her juice (approx .75-.80) as well as a profit of 3,000 UGS from her pancake business daily. She is now earning close to $2 a day and is continuing to expand. She has more than doubled her income and her graduation date is set for next month in Bulogo village! Like all entrepreneurs, Monica faces challenges. Currently, she told us she is challenged by lack of access to the specific variety of ripe bananas to meet her growing demand for the juice. Tending to her 6 children in addition to running her businesses proves challenging, but Monica is so passionate and driven we are unequivocally convinced she will have continued success!
I asked Monica what she is most proud of in her business and she replied,

” Now, I am able to afford things I couldn’t before- without the help of my husband- whom she called “boss” with a smile and laughed! …. ” if I would like a piece of meat, I can buy it… If I want to have my hair done or buy a special lotion for myself, I am able to do so and am not depending on my husband.”

As we left her bustling home workshop, we thanked her profusely for her time,  as well as her earnest efforts in English to help us film a short video of her tremendous accomplishments.  What a courageous and brave woman- so incredibly wise for her young 33 years.

I left home early July with a particular definition and understanding of the words  “courage” and “bravery”, and enjoy experiencing the evolution of this definition with each passing day shared with some of the most enterprising, and tenacious women I will have ever met in my life.  I am truly blessed for these encounters and for the lessons they have continued to teach me along this unimaginably profound journey.

xxx

rolling out Cassava flour, bananas, and baking soda to prepare her pancakes for sale.
rolling out Cassava flour, bananas, and baking soda to prepare her pancakes for sale.

Harsh Realities of Life in the Developing World.

by standinlovejen, posted in Adventure, Ideas, People, Uncategorized

Greetings from plot 96 on Bunyoni Rd, Kataza district Kampala, Uganda! Finished up a load of hand washing as the morning rain finally ceased and the sun will shine for exactly 4 and a half more hours- just long enough to take the heavy dampness off my two boldly printed, safety pinned waistband maxi skirts and pair of light weight cotton pajamas drying on the rusted metal clothes line we share with the neighboring apartment housing two brilliant young sisters- both university graduates still seeking employment opportunities after two years.  Seems the complexities of my first three weeks in Uganda- and first time in sub Saharan Africa have finally brought me to a moment of deep contemplation, even fearful realizations I had to address. I am writing from the comfort of my humble abode today, recognizing the need to hit the “pause and process” button on my African adventure transistor radio. Monday’s completed field visit to Bulogo women’s group was the pinnacle of this “Awakening” – an expression I borrow from shame researcher and author, Brenee Brown. I returned late that evening after a difficult return trip stuck in hours of typical rush hour “jams” as they are called here. The nights can grow so dim, literally no street lights, only the burning flames of small kerosene lamps aglow lighting small tables of smoked fish, unrefrigerated meats, fruit and vegetable stands, and the scent of burning piles of rubbish in the air thick and heavy with the darkness of night. The traffic in Kampala hits a head in the am for three hours and at night for at least 3 hours. The city streets are literally gridlocked- with cars, matatus, bodas, cyclists, and people scrambling for a place to inch forward. I liken crossing one of these streets to a human game of “Frogger” – without the slightest bit of exaggeration in the analogy.

It was bound to hit me- the wall. And so yesterday morning brought me to a halt. I landed in Uganda and have remained a human funnel – wide at the top desiring to take in as many fluid experiences as I possibly could these first 3 weeks that I was like a cheerfully colored latex birthday party balloon gorging down air filling to the widest stretches of itself before bursting in excess – in my case – emotional overload. I sat paralyzed at my desk in the inventory room shared by a young American named Steve, and began to think I may not be able to handle any more. My arms and neck stayed stiff like boards, hands felt like jittery fingers in the middle of a cold winter’s day. The “clip clip clip ” of the gardener’s shears on the bushes outside my office were literally fraying my nerves. I grabbed my phone, plugged in the little white earbuds and attempted to drown out the surfacing feelings with some orchestral Italian harp music I downloaded in the early hours the morning of my departure from home- unable to sleep. Recognizing the signs of anxiety- I reached for two things- my phone and two calming homeopathic sleep tablets called Calms Forte. Unsuccessfully skyping my husband and parents with whom I had not communicated in two days – for lack of wifi access- I had to follow the normal self- soothing protocol and realize this time was bound to come and was totally normal.

Today’s working from “home” has allowed me to experience tremendous insight into my work here, as well as space to process the varied experiences so far. I think I arrived in Uganda with my ” wow this is all novel! ” lenses, then transitioned to ” hmmm, that’s odd but I understand its part of life here”, to ” oh my word, life is just so difficult here, and I am totally overwhelmed by the daily realities for so many Ugandans” lenses. Humans don’t share much in common with these transition lenses outside of the different cast of light they let in your frame of view. I am learning and experiencing the time- consuming tasks of hand washing, line drying, and ironing every piece to be sure to singe any trace of mango fly eggs that were hatched on your damp clothing – lest you forget and it buries itself and hatches underneath your skin like it did to our neighbor Lee the week we arrived- requiring a small incision to be made to remove the worm under her skin that had grown.

I am learning to allow myself to feel the raw feelings of fear – as they relate to embracing change and accepting discomfort. Living with roaches, armies of ants, geckos on the walls, mosquitoes everywhere, all while viewing the injustices all around of people living in abject poverty will take it’s toll. Each day for the past 3 weeks as I leave the iron gate of my compound in Kataza and walk down Bunyoni road to begin my Teva- sandaled trek to work, I am confronted with the horrible realities of life in the developing world. I have lived and worked abroad in Israel, and various places in Europe for extended periods of time, but none of those trips would be able to properly prepare me for the sights I would witness in sub-Saharan Africa. I’d love to be able to insert more specific and startling statistics on things like the lack of indoor plumbing and running water data,or the rates of incidence of untreated bronchial infections in women and children due to daily cooking over and inhaling charcoal fumes, in the country- which I know would be astounding, however I very quickly became used to the fact that I do not have instant access to wifi when and wherever I want.

Today’s quiet day allowed me to reflect and write stories on the members of Bulogo Womens group. Space to process. Space to pause and to revisit my commitment of coming here in the first place. Humanity is a shared experience- this is proven to me over and over again as I make it through another day on the ground.
I love the write up by Tara Sophia Mohr called, “10 Rules for Brilliant Women”.  
Rule #1: Make a pact. 
She writes, ” No one else is going to build the life you want for you. No one else will even be able to completely understand it. The most amazing souls will show up to cheer you on along the way, but this is your game. Make a pact to be in it with yourself for the long haul, as your own supportive friend at every step of the way.” 
This piece of advice aligns with the core messaging of the Street Business School training I attended in Mutungo last week with the 12th enrolled class of over 75 women and some of their children. YOU are the business. YOU are the capital. YOU must believe in the power YOU have in YOU and make a commitment, a pact, with yourself and trust in it’s potential.
I challenge you to think about a pact you would like to make with yourself. What would it look like? What would it say? What would be the impact of this self commitment? Know it may be scary along the way, but in retrospect, an adventure worth the risk it took to get there!
Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to be transparent and real with my thoughts- we don’t help anyone by acting like we have it all together all of the time- vulnerability and truth lead to connectivity!
Make a pact to implement a small change and share with someone you love!